I don't know why I feel like I do right at this exact moment...it's been what, almost two months since B. and I stopped seeing each other, yet, even now I can feel weepy and cry since, well...since we aren't together. Geeez....so obviously my own feelings ran alot deeper than his, and he recognized that, and perhaps his once were leaning in that direction, but then they changed or he got freaked or whatever...I never really got an answer as to why...perhaps he didn't even know himself...but why is this *still* affecting me so? Why can't I move on...what can I do? I just miss everything...the whole package deal. I've worked myself into a migraine...and I am all splotchy from crying. I can't explain it. I miss tallking to him as a friend, listening to his voice, his messy hair in the morning, the way he would casually slide his fingertips across my skin, hold my hand while driving, not to mention the thousand other things that I cannot even begin to put into words. Can your life change in such a short amount of time? We weren't going out all that long. And I admit my experience in relationships hasn't been the most, but everything just felt right, and then to have it yanked from me, pulled from my happy little romantic world in the clouds...My friend K. was right after I told her everything that happened...don't listen to the radio, it will make you more upset...I just had to turn it off.

And then M. complicating things...its all lust with him, even now...what was I thinking when I still saw him after I found out that he was married. What the hell was I thinking? What the hell am I thinking even now? (For the record, he wasn't married when we first went out.) But in a way he makes me feel alive and appreciated and sexy, and other things I can't explain. And in his own way he does care about me, but there is no way to feel that closeness since...once its over...I go home alone. When I am there...it just is great...it really is...and he's really the one person I let my guard down with when my Mother was in one of her cycles of extreme bitchiness. I never even shared that with B. Well I may have hinted at at...but I never cried in front of B. Not even when we broke up...I don't like to cry in front of people, I mean who really does...but I never did in front of B...perhaps if I did...who knows...I was trying to be strong at the time, be rational, it seems like it was yesterday that that happened. *sigh* I should prolly go to bed.

I was reading personals on craigslist...yes...that is what it is amounting to now *sigh* and came across this one...all I could do was cry:

I have no past. Nor do I want one. I'm just looking for a future. I know it out there somewhere and I know the journey to get there is long and hard. Somewhere on my trek through life I will find it, whatever it is I am looking for. Right now I have taken a little detour on my journey to self discovery. I am looking for someone. Someone to guide me along, someone who wants to be there for me, and who wants me to be there for them. Someone I can caress their skin and make them feel like the most prettiest person alive on the planet, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. Someone who wants to be touched, someone to hold hands with, someone to hug if they ever needed it. Someone to share my life with. Someone to have fun with. Someone to journey with. Someone who enjoys to laugh and who likes to make people laugh.

I am looking for someone to have fun with. Someone who isn't afraid to try new things. Someone who I can help guide on their journey through life and who can help me on mine. Someone to say "I love you, I miss you, I'll always care about you." Someone who wants me to think about them 24/7. Someone to journey under the stars and see new places.

Do you fit this description? Do you feel you can connect emotionally, personally, physically, spiritually. Give me a call...from your heart and from you soul.

M. tells me I am sexy...B. called me beautiful.

Why am I still up?

Still all stuffed up. Didn't sleep too well either. My mother is being a bit pshycho again. So nothing much has changed. The latest bitchiness includes the phrase, "Take your stuff out of the dryer NOW, or else it ends up in the backyard." Like its too hard to just throw it on top of the dryer. She did throw my stuff out once into the backyard. I was looking for a pair of shoes in my bedroom and my Dad walks by and says, "Are you making room for more clothes?" And I answer, "What?" And then he tells me that my mother threw my clothes that were in the dryer out the door, on the side of the house. It had rained that day as well. So I had to rescue them pronto. But geeeeez. Can you believe it? I don't live here because I want to, I live here out of necessity. I don't know why she is like this, her mood can change in the split second it takes to blink. The only one I can really talk to about any of this is my Grandmother -- she understands what I am going through. When I shared that last incident with her, she was in shock, wondering why she was acting that way. I can't really answer. But at times she treats my Grandmother in the same way -- this is her mother. And when you tell her that she uses a certain tone of voice, or a certain phrase, it hurts, she'll counter back. "Oh well." In only a sarcastic tone that she can use. It hurts, it twists into me like a dagger. And once when I said that particular tone of "Oh well," I didn't like she said to me, "Well there are times I don't like the tone you use." But doesn't she realize that I am only reacting to the situation I am thrust into? There are times I absolutely HATE her. And I walk on tip toes to avoid setting her off. It's a wonder I am not in therapy of some sort, and I sometimes wonder how my Dad has put up with her all these years. She wonders why I never tell her things...she is still upset that I haven't told her the full story of what happened between B. and I...and I can't share things like this because then I remember how she has treated me. And the worst part of it is, my friends who have met her, think she is the coolest thing since sliced bread. And don't believe some of the things I have shared with them. My friend in Florida once called me, but she answered the phone and proceeded to talk to him for 45 minutes. He didn't call to talk to her, he called to talk to me. And when I tried to get her to give the phone to me, she would wave me away. *sigh* I hope I never turn into my mother.

Off to work now, at least I can escape for eight hours...

I am all stuffed up and can't breathe. This year seems to be the year of sickness for me. I can't really explain it. I should probably get a physical...now that's something to look forward too.

Saw B. pop online again this afternoon...while the gut reaction was the same, it wasn't as pronounced as it once was -- but it still did a mini-flop, if that makes any sense.

Ahhh....so, what else? Wait, hold on a sneeze is coming on. *sneeze* Oh, that actually felt good. I can't taste anything either. Soup would taste very good right now. Mmmmmm hot and sour soup, I think I shall get some of that for lunch tomorrow. I can't say that I will be able to taste it. But I can imagine the taste of it in my memory. Oh now I am really babbling...I need to go to bed.

And my checkbook balanced!

I tried writing last night, late, but then my computer froze up on me and then my eyes were too tired to really turn it back on. I slept in till almost 11, today. Work at 2. *JOY* I am coming down with a cold as well, I am all congested and sneezy. I feel icky. But to work I must go. Oh fun.

Yahoo! Palmistry

Based on the information we have collected related to the unique characteristics of your hand, PalmReaderOnline has determined that you are a Mercurian.

You appear to be a superior friend and lover, but it may be too early to make this assumption.

Since your hand's flexibility is limited, you are cautious, and more importantly you may struggle with adversity. Your rocky relationships are usually due to your inability to see the big picture.

You may find that people with larger thumbs attempt to control and influence you. In romantic situations this can be damaging.

While you may have a good attention span you are less interested in detail. In relationships this may lead you to overlook the superficial flaws of your mate.

You often find yourself intimidated by new ideas. You prefer a more traditional romantic relationship.

Your easy-going nature may be a positive force in your romantic relationships if you are matched with someone who will not take advantage of you.

I want a new car. My pal Ruby keeps sending me links. LOL. I salivate when I see one on the road. It's bad, it's like I was salivating over a guy or sumptin'. I used to drive behind a black one with tinted windows and the liscense plate, SKARAB. I thought that was really cool. I wonder if PUELLA or KRISTANA are taken. Actually I think KRISTANA has too many letters so it would have to be KRSTANA perhaps. Hmmmmm

Ahhh well here I am again. Just hanging out watching Law and Order. I really miss Chris Noth on this show, but then its always pretty good. Tonight we have a repeat, but better than nothing I guess. It's just there for the sound. I could watch the news, but its a bit depressing today. Two days ago some lady, a school bus driver opened fire on her co-workers...unusual because it is a woman. Then today, some lady was stabbed in the back at the San Francisco airport. Apparently the FAA doesn't believe that pocket knives are weapons.

Ginger is sleeping on the wall. Her small white leg just hanging off. Sometimes twitching. She looks very comfortable. I think she is smiling. She has a tummy full of chicken and rice.

It was warm today. I need to go shopping for some new summer clothes. Shorts and shoes and all that.

Yep Ginger is smiling.

Ahhh well...coffee was good and J. is yummy. Geez I hope he doesn't read this. LOL. Okay I am at a loss for words which is unusual. Usually I can just babble on and on. I had a weird dream the other night of blogging, and writing HTML, and people at work. It was weird I don't even remember much if it now, although I wanted to write about it at the time.

Ahhh well...I need to pop in the shower...I am meeting J., for coffee, he told me I would know him by the sideburns. LOL.

Oh, my favorite song is on the radio right now. I never tire of it. I can feel you breathe...just breathe...caught up in the touch...slow and steady rush...isn't that the way love is supposed to be?...I can feel you breathe...just breathe...I can feel the magic floating in the air..."

Breathe by Faith Hill. I can actually listen to it over and over. It calms me and reassures me. I can't explain it.

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face
And I've never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart

CHORUS:
Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
And suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby, all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's suppose to be
I can feel you breathe

In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
Closer than I've ever felt before
And I know, and you know
There's no need for words right now

CHORUS:

I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way...


Ginger is sitting here in my lap again. I should really go to bed. I am wearing a gold bracelet and she is chewing on it. Like I am wearing it just for her. She'll do this with any bracelet I am wearing. But she loves the beaded ones, especially if they are on that elastic string. It's just funny to watch. She's purring, content. I wish I could be as content right now. Heck I wish I could be a cat sometimes. Sleeping 23.5 hours a day. Not having to put up with crap at work. Ahhh yes I should go to bed now.

I got a new toe ring today. 18K Gold, looks like a bamboo branch. It's really pretty. Mom is obsessed with QVC. :o) Not that that is a bad thing, especially when jewelry comes my way.

If you noticed I added links to The Spa up top. That's my website. Yes it hasn't been updated in ages, but I have plans. BIG plans. So don't laugh at my pitiful HTML okay? LOL. Actually that site will be coming down in a few days. Well except for a few pages, like the ones with the web rings, since its evil to break up a webring. But that's about it. I have alot of ideas swirling around in my head. Alot of my site is devoted to the Gene Marshall doll and my doll collecting hobby in general. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. I plan to add a few more sections, this blog is part of that. What else? Hmmmm nothing much.

I called out today. I had a migraine that could kill a horse. Very bad. So I called and then went back to bed. The sleep and the darkness helped. But a remnant of the headache remained with me most of the day. *JOY*

And yes I went to see M. Wore the yellow top like he asked, with a pair of baggy grey pants. And a black bra, lol, my Mom took one look at me and I know she was thinking, "I can't believe she is wearing that black bra under that top." I did it on purpose of course. And it was warm today, warm in his apartment. And his cat was jumping in boxes scratching the bottoms out.

"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." -- Judy Garland

Okee I am back, I played with my dolls. Redressed Trixie -- she's the one with the nipples. So of course I had to redress her in an outfit that highlights those nipples, so she is an Egyptian slavegirl right now, but she really reminds me of Hedy Lamarr in Samson and Delilah. Madra on the other hand is wearing a beautiful white suit created by my friend Wayne. He is such an artist. I bow to his talent. Gene hasn't decided on her attire yet. But she is leaning towards an avacado sheath dress with a cowl neck and peplum. Of course any one of these tempermental "actresses" may change their mind on a whim and decide to stay home and drink martinis and tequila shots. This is what happens when you haven't seen a man in five years.

And in case you are wondering, no I am not delusional, I am just Sharing the Dream. *smiles*

Ahhh, so I talked to M., today...I swear my life has been an interesting series of events since I met him last year. So we're supposed to get together tomorrow. He asked me to wear my yellow top. It's bright, a sunny, happy yellow, that makes my highlights pop. It's also one of those teeny tiny t-shirts, made even more form fitting with the addition of princess seams. Cap sleeves, slight V-neck. (Not even cleavage bearing! *shock*)

"Can you wear the yellow top you have?"

"Um, sure...why?"

"I like that top on you."

"Is it because it makes my chest look big?"

(a bit of silence)

"Cat got your tongue? You can tell me..."

"Well, your chest is big...I can't help that. It's a nice top..." LOL

Ahhh....men's obsessions with breasts. I guess I will never understand. That said, I will thank mother nature for the assets I do have, so Thank-You. We'll discuss men's obsessions with threesomes another time.

Okee, and before I say goodnight...special *glitter* hugs to L. for sticking to her guns. *smiles*

Okee...goodnight.

I've decided to go back to school, and actually do something with my life. This time I am going to pursue a degree in Interior Design. It just irks me that I got the catalog in the mail, and I am filling out the registration form and *nowhere* is there an address to send the damn thing to!! Geeez louise. So then I think, hey, lets register online! It's fast!! It's easy!! And this is where it pisses me off...I register, and bam! You still have to print out a damn page and SEND IT IN!!! They even ask such wonderful questions like, "Why did you choose to register online?" Um to eliminate having to send something in? HELLO. Of course that wasn't one of the options. LOL. So then I had to switch computers to print out my page since my laptop is not networked to the other computer in the house.

Anyhows, so soon, once again I shall be a student at the illustrious West Valley College.

Ahhh well I think I am going to go play with my dolls for a bit and decide what they are going to wear to the next club meeting that's next week.

7 a.m. meetings should be banned. There was actually quite a turn-out and there was food, croissants and fresh, hot out of the oven bagels. (Thanks to the bagel shop next door.) The agenda covered the usual things, customer service, register issues, etc. I was home by 9. Promptly went back to bed after setting my alarm for 11:30. Well I slowly wake out of a dream about the upcoming movie Moulin Rouge turn over to look at the clock and it's 12:30! I forgot to actually turn on my alarm. *JOY* So I rushed into a shower and now here I am...guess I should start getting ready again since I go in at 2. Oh the excitement.

My eyes are finally starting to feel heavy, but I know once I turn off the lights I will have trouble sleeping since I have to get up early tomorrow (today) for a store meeting, and will be fretting about that. Last night I even drempt (is that a word?) about the store meeting, and a weird dragon like creature that escaped the local zoo. It sucks since I am not scheduled to work until 2, but have to be there at 7, and of course it takes me half an hour to get there. So two hours of perfectly good sleep time wasted.

I love my bed. I love the soft sheets, and the down pillows, and the down comforter and the feather bed. I could spend all there. Working in the linens department is going to be my downfall. I like everything that comes in. And then we have incentives where I can get things basically at cost. They put some beautiful quilts, coverlets, and our Elite Sateen sheets on it this time around. While the Elite Sateen are not the highest thread count we carry (and frankly that 440 set we carry is crap), they do feel nice. I just wish it were the straw color. A wonderful neutral I love using on my display beds, but the tarragon is nice too, and of course ivory is always a good basic. How am I ever going to choose? Hmmmmmm...

It's raining, raining hard, and I sit here not wanting to start getting ready for work, yet I know I must. Ginger has settled into my lap, purring contendedly. My pink robe wrapped around me and I really don't want to go anywhere. But I know I must. We all have these duties in our life and work is one of them. Now there's cat hair in the lap-top. I'd clean it out, but within minutes it would be replaced.

I laid in bed this morning, just listening to the rain. Again wishing that I wasn't listening to that soothing sound alone. Reminds me of a few of the times when I was at B.'s, it always seemed to be raining. He would leave his window open, the shade up, and the light would slowly wake me, and I would see the grass slowly swaying in the wind, and the leaves glistening in the wetness. And that swoosh when a gust of wind would blow.

I've got to move on...think of other things...great now I feel all weepy...my own damn fault for thinking about things in the past that I can do nothing about. We used to write journals everyday in my English class, back when I was a sophmore. The teacher would give you a question or you could just write about what ever you wanted, which is what I did most of the time. At the end of the semester, we had to turn in our journals. On one of my entries she wrote that I was a "true romantic." Whatever that means, if you can actually define it.

I wish our fireplace worked. Years ago our cat climbed up into the chimney. She got stuck and to get her out some of the bricks were removed, and stuffed with newspaper. So no fires for us. I could curl up in the papasan chair in my cozy bubblegum pink robe, with a good book and a mug of tea. But now I've got to get ready to go to a job I am not really liking all that much right now. *sigh*

"... See there's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me." --Gretchen Kemp

I had thought of what to write earlier, but now that has flittered away. I kept getting pulled in other directions...an IM here, an e-mail there...so right now I don't have much to say...I did have an interesting conversation though, but I am still digesting that.

Cruising over again at The Spark found a beautiful poem by DG:

A Romantic Mystique

Lost in thought, I see a vision of you;
A dream, a fantasy, a wish come true.
Carved of flesh, a souls desire,
A god's conception of beauty to admire.
The sight of you excites my soul.
Your touch! More power than you'll ever know.
To kiss your lips I would surely die,
Once, twice, a million times.
A moments ecstasy, a divine encounter,
A gift from you, all the more lovelier.
My inspiration for today, my anticipation of
tomorrow
You are the cause I have for now!
Now is the moment I've been waiting for,
To be with you, to show you I am more.
I only want to share this romantic mystique,
With you - a intimate, passionate, Love unique.

Heart beating fast...when I hear that familiar door opening sound on AIM, and I see that B. is online. And I can feel my heart in my chest, and that wonderful tingly feeling in my stomach. And then as quickly as he is there...he is gone.

The rain had stopped...and has started again.

It's raining. I am sitting here in the comfy chair, and I have the sliding glass door open and I can hear the rain, and the slight wind rustling the chime. I love it, I love the sound of the chimes and the rain. It isn't even cold.

I took a late shower, like at 5, and just let the hot water pour over me. The lather all over my body. Clean and sparkly. Letting my hair dry naturally in slight waves around my shoulders. A skirt was chosen, its black with stripes running diagonally, its two layers, a sheer layer over a solid black layer. It hits below the knee which is a length I love, enough leg to show something, but not dowdy. Paired it with a tank-top, the kind you don't have to wear anything under since its already built into it. Spaghetti straps...flirty and fun, but I don't really have anyplace to go to be flirty and fun. But it makes me feel good, soft and curvy and feminine.

It's still raining and the wind is picking up.

Can you handle The Truth?

*sigh*

Why do people ask you to explain a mood when you can't really put it into words, or want to explain it? And when they ask, "How are you?" Do they really want to know, if its anything other than good?

I miss B., I really do...and its been more than month, almost two. He was right when he said my feelings were more than his. Or becoming stronger. Or something like that. *sigh* I hate when you build something up in your mind, and you think things are going well, and then something seemingly comes out of nowhere to shatter your carefully constructed reality. I guess I should be glad I found out sooner rather than later, or that he told me in person and not on Valentine's Day, but I think he knew then. *sigh* But, "It's not you..." Well you know something had to be about me...something.

I guess I am just tired of being single, and just wanting someone else to share my joys and sorrows with. It was very nice for that small while to wake up next to someone and just watch them sleep, and see that small smile, and to feel that tingle in the pit of your stomach when they call or you see them.

I guess I just expected being in a different stage of my life by now, and it hasn't happened.

I woke up all depressed, can't really explain it, although Mom thinks I can. So I called out. Gave some lame excuse. I just don't really want to deal with everything there anymore. I'd leave in a second if I could -- if I could afford it. Damn.

And now my computer is acting all weird. Have to fix that, not really sure how. It keeps freezing on me. My "Go-Back" feature won't work either. Hmmmmmm.

My cell phone keeps beeping at me telling me I need to charge the battery.

Friday Lisa and I went to the mall. I had to return some pants. The button popped after one wearing. They didn't have the faded style so I got the plain indigo.

They opened a new shop called Build-a-Bear. So of course we had to stop. You pick out a stuffed creature and then you get to "make" him. Filling him up with stuffing, giving him a heart, dressing him. They even get a birth certficate! I picked out a pony. Added a little sound chip into his paw so that he will whinny. Made a wish when I put his heart in. His name is Colby after the yummy Texan on Survivor. I chose some khaki cargo shorts and a cowboy hat for him to wear. You even get to take him home in a box shaped like a house that has windows cut out. The box says, "I'm going home!" Now of course, Colby needs his Texas flag, and his Ogakor bandana (available at the Survivor website). I think I might be a little bit obsessed. They are coming out with an elephant. I may just have to go back.

I just got one of those e-mails, ya know look up when your birthday is and discover what kind of tree you are...well here I am:

CHESTNUT TREE (the Honesty) - of unusual beauty,
does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice,
vivacious, interested, a born diplomat,
but irritates easily and sensitive in company,
often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes
superior, feels not understood, loves only once,
has difficulties in finding a partner.

*sigh* Alot of this rings true...interesting. My birthday is in one month, well one month from tomorrow. And of course now I feel the need to try to reevaluate my life. I don't really like where I am...but I am loathe to do anything about it, I am in one way too comfortable and others wanting to just change everything.

And for some reason I feel like crying.

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.

Ahhh yes, the birthday party. Mom called to RSVP on Friday. My Uncle took the message. He asked after my Dad, and my Mom explained how my Dad is not really the partying type. He then asked after me. And my Mom said, "Well, Kristan is not coming, as she wasn't invited." This of course shocked my Uncle. He told my Mom he would get back to her. About an hour later, my Aunt called back, and asked my Mother what she meant by her comment. And my Mom told her, "Well Mary Ann, Kristan wasn't invited so she won't be attending the party." And my Aunt told her, "Well of course she is invited, all the kids were invited." But my Mom was on the principle fight here. And she told my Aunt that, and emphasizing that I wasn't a kid. So I guess I could have gone if I really wanted to, I didn't really want to though. Mom came home drunk. Thankfully she doesn't drive. And my Mom thinks she is better than everybody...I don't know, alot of time she just pisses me off and I have to bite my tongue not to say something spiteful back. I could fill this log with pages and pages of my Mother's histronics, but I'd rather not. It does upset me too much. BLAH. So I had a quiet Easter, went to the post office, emptied my P.O. Box of the magazines that had piled up and the mail that wasn't mine. Tossed it actually, the mail of Rebecca McGuire...I used to write "return to sender" but then it would usually find itself back in my box, so now I just toss it. And I mailed my taxes. JOY!

Blah. I just don't seem too sunny right now.

I should probably go to bed soon, work is early tomorrow.

Good news! Dad taped Hornblower so I can watch it while I figure out my taxes. WOO!

And I pissed off Uncle Jubalon. I probably baited him a bit, but geez, you have to wonder why he is so angry with everything. I asked if he liked himself. Simple question. You know it all goes to that, how do you expect others to like you, let alone love you if you don't like/love yourself? Oh well, I can't let it get to me, since it's not something I can control. If I could, the world might be a better place. *sigh* I just hate to see people angry all the time. And it seems to me, he has alot of pent-up anger, and he's going to burst if he doesn't do something about it. Okee, enough, soon its going to begin bothering me more than it is right now.

Ahhh....so my nails are all normal now, well, very thin, I didn't make it to the Nail Genie, was just too tired after work to stop, so I did it myself, nail by nail. Not the most pleasant process. However I think I can type faster now. LOL. So now its some filing to get them smooth and a coat of polish to make them a bit stronger, and now I just wait.

I hate waiting. It seems sometimes its all I do. Wait and wait and wait. Wait for a phone call, wait for an answer, on hold, waiting in line. *sigh*

It's my Uncle's 80th birthday this Sunday, which just happens to fall on Easter. We usually have a really low-key celebration. Actually alot of the magic of the major holidays seems to be gone. No Easter egg hunts, no Christmas stockings. If it weren't for me, we wouldn't have had a Christmas tree at all. My Aunt has decided to throw a party for my Uncle on Sunday. It was orginally planned for Saturday. My Grandmother really wanted to go, after all this is her brother. My Mom did not want to go, my Dad is indifferent to all things to do with family, so he's not going. That and he can't really stand my Aunt, although he has admitted she has mellowed over the years...My Grandmother wanted to go with my Mother, but then my Mom made known her desire not to go. So my Grandmother was going to go by herself. She's 87, going on 60, lol...but she doesn't like driving alone, especially when it starts to get dark. Then the invitation came, addressed to my Mom and Dad. I wasn't invited. Not that I was going to go, actually I might have, now that it was on Sunday, and not Saturday (when I usually work), but I digress. My Mom is absolutely livid over the invitation not including me. (Actually I believe, like wedding invitations, I should have received my own addressed invitation, since I am not a minor -- lol, I used to take wedding invitation orders at one of my former jobs, I saw alot of fights between mothers and daughters let me tell you!) And it actually peeves me a bit as well. I am the one who usually sends out the Christmas cards, not my Mother, and even though we are not actually close, I always sent one to them. So now my Mom wants to go to the party to give my Aunt a piece of her mind on the matter. And let me just say, when my Mother is one of her moods she can be quite the bitch. (Which seems to be most of the time.) So basically because of this party, the usual quiet Easter celebration is just going to be me and my Dad. The party starts at 2, I am sure my Grandmother will pick up my Mom and the two of them will be off to the party. So that means no honey glazed ham, no yams with marshmallows, no shrimp cocktail served in antique glasses. *sigh* I just hope this doesn't escalate into a big family feud.

Damn I forgot to watch Horatio Hornblower. Damn, damn, damn.

It's cold...and rainy, it even hailed, and I was caught out in the middle of it, wearing springy clothes that have no such business being in weather like today's.

My poor nails look icky...I'm at that point where I should let them be natural for awhile, rather than the acrylic. So they are all rough and gross looking at the moment. Tomorrow its to the Nail Genie to get them on the road to normal-ness again. I should have had her just do them for me, but I got impatient...seems to be the running thing with me. It's weird to have short nails again, not that they were like talons or anything, lol.

More quiz taking fun at Emode.com!!

The Celebrity Matchmaker

There's no denying that sparks would be flying between you and Ben Affleck. Preppy and playful, he has what it takes to drive you crazy.

What type are you?

Ready to find out who you are? Well, our Wheel of Types has landed on the GIRL NEXT DOOR. You're natural and spontaneous — men can't resist your tender-hearted nature and sweet smiles.

Still bored, lol...so hanging out at Emode.com

Just took the "What flavor are you?" quiz, and the results are in!

Mmm ... blueberry! Tangy and sweet, you're as fresh as a mountain sunrise and as natural as homemade jam. If you were a Broadway musical, you'd be The Sound of Music — we can just picture you twirling for joy in an Alpine meadow. Best with breakfast cereal and pancakes, you're simple and refreshing, with just a touch of tartness to give you an edge. Always a favorite, people can't get enough of your spontaneous nature and easy-going approach toward life. Who wouldn't be attracted to your sporty, summery flavor? Fun-loving and genuine, you're a truly tasty treat.

Who's your type?

Your type is the Brain

Let's put it this way — you would never date the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz. A guy without a brain is not the guy for you! Your Mr. Right is well-read, extremely knowledgeable, and can beat anyone at Trivial Pursuit. He can hold his own in any intellectual conversation, and he's got an insatiable desire to learn. You prefer a strong mind over strong muscles and have no patience for someone who considers TV mentally stimulating.Whether it's because he can take apart a computer and rebuild it at thespeed of light or the way he can recite the price of any stock on themarket, his brainpower impresses you. You love to learn, and there's no better knowledge than the kind you get from someone you love!

Geeeeeez. I can't believe I just spent the last 45 minutes rating guys on HOT or NOT? I must be really bored. LOL. Then of course there is always bored.com. I guess I am just not used to having all this free time on a Saturday night, usually I am at work. A girl could get used to this.

WHEE!! Actually I am not in the mood to write much.

Just some random musings right now...I am kinda in an odd mood, can't really explain it. But it's there.

The reaction to my hair at work was good, K. who had been in Japan didn't recognize me when I was up on the ladder doing a display, lol. I am liking the blonde bits though...

Okee, does anybody think that in the new movie Blow, with Johnny Depp, that Johnny Depp, resembles Kato Kaelin, groundskeeper at OJ Simpson's house? Hmmmmm. Yeah and Paul Reubens! WOO! LOL. And Ray Liotta seems to be popping up everywhere these days.

Ahhhh yes and another night of Survivor. Yes, I am hooked on this show. LOL. But darn it, that Colby is yummy. Do you want fries with that?

And while on the subject of worthwhile TV shows (stop snickering, lol) A&E has brought back Horatio Hornblower. So check it out this Sunday.

Mmmmmm, Dad stopped at the local Chinese food restaurant and picked up some Hot and Sour Soup. Now my lips are delightfully tingly. Mmmmmm

I must just say that Geocities right now is pissing me off. And if I didn't need to go to bed, I'd figure out why it's behaving why it is. Geez...

And in case you noticed (the whole three of you reading this, lol) I added a new "discuss" feature. The excitement! All of this thanks to BlogVoices.

I now have more noticeable blonde bits in my hair! Woo!!

I guess I should be thankful that the cat left my room before throwing up, but things were looking a little harrowing there as she glided past the laptop.

Perhaps it's not so bad to be a Pure Mountain Stream after all:

(from an actual e-mail!):

"answer me this ... is a pure mountain stream as tasty as it sounds????? "

Hmmmmmmmmmm...QTB (Questions That Boggle) ;o)

It's cooler today, chill in the wind, has me craving Starbucks. Mmmmmmm I could really go for a Caramel Machiatto right now with extra caramel mmmmmmm.



These doves were in my backyard yesterday sunning themselves in the morning sun.

Wow, that was a long nap. LOL. Actually I woke up at like 10:30p.m., popped into the shower and then went back to bed. I had one of those migraines...eeek. Okee, now to work. At least when you go in early you get out early.

Oh yes, I am glad that Blogger is feeling better.

I feel oddly hung-over although I am not. I hate this spring ahead stuff. I am so tired, am actually contemplating a nap.

Mom and I headed back to the mall today. She had to return a blouse she bought on Wednesday. I wore quite a revealing tank-top...yes low (low, low cut ;o), cut. Hey, I've got them, I might as well flaunt them right? So my Mother says to me, its funny to watch guys look, and then try to look like they aren't looking. LOL. Yes, they are real, and yes, they are natural. Ahhh cleavage is a wonderful thing. ;o)

I bought a sunshine yellow top today. I usually don't wear this color. But I put it on and it made my new blonde highlights just POP which I thought was really cool. Yellow, actually looks really nice with my fair skin and freckles. I also got a new swimsuit, one of those tankini styles, navy with white Hawaiian looking flowers on it.

Okee time for that nap I think...

The later it gets, the weirder the unsolicited IM's I get...

Yes work was one of those days...short handed, which puts a strain on us all. I don't think I have ever worked at a place that has had a larger turn-around....hmm...odd, its not like its a *hard* job...maybe some people just can't handle dealing with people. Who knows.

I had a weird voice mail today, the entire message was a song. I am not sure what song exactly, kinda a love song type of song though. This never happens to me, which is kinda weird. I called the person who I thought sent it, but he said he didn't send it. Of course I could be totally wrong, who knows. Who can understand men sometimes. He did say, "Oh, great idea, I'll have to try that sometime." It's not like everybody has my cell phone number. And if I got the message by mistake, it seems to me my voice mail greeting of "Hi, this is Kristan, please leave a message." would clue them in. Hmmmm, I still think it was M. though, no matter what he says.

Hope you all remembered to Spring Ahead!